Sunday, April 17, 2016
Hey everyone, I haven't had much time for a new caption. But I still have a few caps that Dawn has made me in the past. I know that Dawn posted them on her blog as well. But they were really good caps and in case some of you haven't seen them, here you go.
I guess getting to the big news. My appointment that Ive made with a gender therapist. I guess I have more of a question for everyone.
I have been communicating with the therapist via email. Or at least I thought it was with the therapist. It turns out that it was her whole damn office. Compounded by the fact that this therapist doesn't specialize in Gender issues like it said online as well. I know her staff would eventually know me and my reason for seeking therapy. But it was misleading online. It gives the illusion that you would be directly talking with the therapist. I don't know, it felt very invasive the way the whole process went down..
Maybe I'm wrong but it was difficult writing to this person and confessing to them that I have a Gender identity issue. But I was very vocal with the staff, again via email, about how it made me feel.
FINALLY over a week later, the actual therapist wrote me back and told me it was all just a SNAFU.. It gave me a bad experience and I surely won't be going to this therapist.
But what I'm finding out is I can basically talk to any therapist in the world via my phone. So do any of you know of a great gender therapist, preferably female please, that you may recommend.
I'm upset and annoyed over this situation but I'm not going to stop now. I want to continue on with what I started.
Thanks everyone, I hope you're all happy and healthy.
I can't wait for your comments to see about a therapist or if you had a crazy situation to tell me about as well.
xoxoxo Katie Mills
Monday, April 11, 2016
Monday, April 4, 2016
Hey everyone, I have some news. It's actually huge news and I'm nervous as hell.
Until recently I've been back and fourth in my mind with this decision. And I feel like I need to vent. So two days ago I reached out to a gender therapist and scheduled an appointment.
I'm terrified! I'm terrified that they will confirm my suspicions that I'm transgendered. I'm also terrified equally that they will tell me I'm not trans. Does that make any sense.
I have been suppressing these feeling for so long I feel like it's almost normal to feel numb. But talking to some people in my life from this community and my friend here at home has given me a new sense of reality. I've been fantasizing in my mind at the idea of just being myself. Just allowing myself to be me, whoever that may be..
I have concerns about my daughter. I have a little girl who is seven. She and I are super close. And I'm scared for what this will mean for her and I and our future. It also concerns me that I'm 34 and not a small petite man. The testosterone has been doing its thing for far too long.
I actually thought of self medicating years ago just to get that feeling of being someone else. The feeling of medamorphasis that lots of the girls describe. But it's so dangerous to self medicate and there is far too much to lose and leave behind. Besides, if I'm gonna start on hormones, I think it will be obvious to most people that I would be changing and the question goes to, why not just come out and do it right. But I'm not sure I am trans.. Although I'm pretty sure I am.
I'm not suicidal, nor do I feel depressed. I just feel empty. Like my time as who I am now has run it course and there no more I could do. Other times I feel like I'm living a lie and I am trying too hard to be who I'm not. Other times I feel like I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be. But it always fades.
So I want to start using this blog while I'm going through my self exploration to discuss gender issues. I want to get your insight on different topics. I know many of my friends in this wonderful community who have transitioned and they are brave and strong for doing it. They have endless advice to give and I'm willing to take it all to the bank.
My friend Danielle asked me the other day to name three things I love and cherish in my life. Naturally, I said my daughter, my new found health and my family/friends.
She paused as she teared up with a half cocked grin. Her words were never more pure and true.
She said, "You never mentioned yourself. You never put yourself, your actual self on the list. It's okay to self love as long as you truly see yourself and feel good."
She was right, not that I mind putting everyone in my life first but it's okay to put ourselves at the top of the list.
So in the most purest of ways, I feel like I'm doing that by making this appointment.
So I want to thank Dee and Dawn for everything. They have been great friends. I've never felt such a connection to people I've never met before in person. But if you could use people like them to describe our community and how we take care of each other, it would paint a perfect picture.
And I will still make captions but I really want to start using this blog for more. I want to discuss these topics and so much more.
Thank you everyone, and as always I hope you're all healthy and happy. Feel free to comment your thoughts. And I'll join in the discussion.
xoxoxo Katie Mills
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Hey everyone, I made this one for Chelsea Baker over at the Haven. I'm almost caught back up with her. Lol!
Today is Super Tuesday and I'm a political nerd. Believe me it matters, get out and vote!
I hope you're all healthy and happy. And if you get a chance, check out my new book.
xoxoxo Katie Mills
Friday, February 26, 2016
Hello all! It's been a week or so but things are getting a little hectic once again. But before I continue on about why I haven't produced I have some new news for you.
I have a friend named Danielle. We met about a year ago and we hit it off. Since then we have been meeting up once a week for coffee or a walk. She even used to visit me when I was still pretty sick.
Anyway, about a month ago we got to talking about men and women. And if you're like me, I will joke about transformations in conversations. But one day I just opened up to her. I told her about my passions, my fantasies and my blog here. I told her about me..... Katie....
It didn't surprise me that she was understanding. What surprised me more was that she wanted to understand. She had questions and she was curious. She was perfect. Lol!
I will admit that it was amazing to open up with someone. To really let them in. To get a secret out about myself that has been on my shoulders since I was five.
We talked all through the night. She confessed some Secrets to me as well.
She used to make extra money selling panties and Pantyhose, tights etc... She said it was actually fun and she got to know a ton of people in the fetish industry. And believe me when I tell you Danielle is very attractive. She is stunning. And I'm not writing this because she will probably read it. ;)
Anyway, I plan on making some new caps this week so stay tuned. I hope you're all healthy and happy.
xoxoxo Katie Mills
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Hey all, its Katie.
Just a simple ad for my new book..
Check it out! See you soon with some new caps later this week..
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Hey all, its Katie! I guess you've realized that I'm back from yet another break. Lol! But this break was needed. I was working like crazy right up to the new year. Which is a really good thing considering. But if you haven't noticed, I had a new book published on Amazon,
I will be making caps again but not nearly as often. I'll try to make at least one a week. I find that I burn myself out and then take huge breaks. I eventually get my creative juices flowing again, I'll bang out a bunch of caps and than burn myself out again. It's a vicious cycle. Lol!
So I guess it's time to let you know that I'm writing another book. But it will be a compilation of short stories that get to the transformation quickly. It's a little different from what I'm used to writing but we'll see how it goes.
I hope you're all healthy and happy!
xoxoxo Katie Mills
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
My latest book,
a Sisters of Fate story
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John and his sister Katie have been tragically left behind when their mother passed away. But their mother was quite well off leaving them a large inheritance to split. But the money comes with a few catches. They have to be eighteen, they have to finish high school and they should tdonate half of it back into charities that she started when she was still alive. What the kids don't know is that the donation of the inheritance is bound by magic. Will John be a good son and follow his mother's wishes? Or will he be greedy and disobey?
and for a limited time
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Thursday through Sunday